The Fair Play method is a system that helps you and your partner create a collaborative and equitable partnership. Fair Play provides a structure, language and set of tools to equitably divide domestic labour within your household AND allow both partners to carve out their own free time, away from the demands of their assigned roles.

This system is based on the book, “Fair Play,” written by Eve Rodsky.

Yes! Though Fair Play is written for couples, in practice the principles can be applied to all kinds of living situations and workplace environments.

Fair Play principles are also a great tool to teach children so that the mental load of day to day tasks can be shared in an age appropriate way. This can be particularly helpful in single parent homes or homes where one parent may be gone for extended periods of time.

There are also many examples of roommates using the Fair Play method to improve communication and share tasks.

Fair Play has many applications outside of couples.

Fair Play is a system that helps couples or people living in the same household to establish explicit expectations around domestic labour. The benefits of engaging in this system include clear, non-emotional communication of household expectations using an established framework, accountability and trust in your partner, less micro-managing and more mental free space.

Chaos is no fun! Systems can help to clarify what our priorities are, how to accomplish them and what we can let go of. Having a clearly defined system means that all family members understand their responsibilities in maintaining the household AND all family members have equitable access to free time.

You’re not alone! A typical scenario is something like this: Partner A reads Fair Play and feels seen, encouraged and on fire. They insist Partner B read Fair Play right away. Partner B picks it up and quickly starts to feel on the defence, or like they’re being attacked. Partner B closes the book and refuses to engage. Sound familiar?

Fair Play offers language and tools to INVITE our partners to play. We cannot force anyone to play, but we can frame the conversation and invitation to help bring partners to the table so that they can see the possibility of increased joy, time for creativity, hobbies and passions.

Some partnerships may benefit from couples counselling to improve communication skills BEFORE engaging in Fair Play and that’s ok too!

All families are busy, but the demands on medical families can be a whole other thing. Maybe you’re on call for a week (or more) at a time, maybe you’re up all hours of the night, missing drop offs and bedtimes to care for your patients. Maybe you’re in a two physician family trying to balance all the things, two medical careers with real patient lives on the line and real family demands going on at home. Maybe you’re considering leaving medicine or changing specialities or cutting back significantly because the load of work and family is slowly sinking you. I see you and Fair Play can help to lighten your load, give you the language to find balance and give you permission to say NO to things that no longer serve you and HELL YES to the things that fire you up.

The short answer is YES households with neurodivergent members can benefit from Fair Play implementation.

The long answer is yes and how we choose to implement this system may look different than it does in other households, what you read online or see in public facing workshops.

It is important to remember that prioritising what works best for your individual family is more important than doing things a certain way because that’s how it “should” be done.

The truth is, all of us can benefit from some kind of structure or rhythm to guide our daily behaviours. This may be even more important for those individuals who struggle with executive function, managing competing demands or task triaging.

Having a system established in advance can help to clarifying the next right step making in the moment decisions less overwhelming.

The important thing to remember is that just like in some schooling or work place environments, some individuals may need accommodations to be successful in Fair Play. This could include more time, a written reminder system, a colour coded task list, more regular family meetings etc.